The Joy of the Lobster

Everyone knows I'm an atheist. I don't disparage my friends for having their beliefs; at least I try not to. Mostly we just don't talk about it. My views on religion can be summed up about the same as my views on lobster.

I understand it’s a delicacy. I understand most people love lobster. When I look at it, all I see is a sea cockroach. Fucking disgusting. I can try to give it a chance all I’d like, but all it would be is trying. I can get it onto my fork and off the plate, but there’s no way it’s going in my mouth.

I’m happy for all the people that enjoy their seafood, but I will not be going out to enjoy it with you. Well, I suppose I could, but you’d only be subject to all my judgmental looks. I may also say something about how gross you are.